There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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