We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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