Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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