I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
