Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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