Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we made out on top of his cat.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize