please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
