did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
