I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just high enough for therapy.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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