He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
