Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this boner is exhausting
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
