i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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