I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
