dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
