i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We are two peas in an std pod
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
