I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
