This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
