I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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