i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I understand Curling. That high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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