Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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