Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's blow job season.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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