Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
