he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize