Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize