Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
