physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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