and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
