sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
