im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
