The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
