i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm getting married
To pizza
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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