so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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