you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
