listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
