Need sex. Gaining weight.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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