i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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