She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im part way to drunk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
