Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
