you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize