Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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