ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
