btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
