i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
