Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
