i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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