and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
