He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize