I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
