I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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