their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize