at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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