non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize