THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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