I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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