i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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