if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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