Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
