how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
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I think my nap took me to another dimension
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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