so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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