I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
