I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize